You Have to Want It

I have a lot of mixed feelings about court-ordered recovery programs. Sometimes, there are good outcomes, and sometimes, not-so-good outcomes. It all starts with the mindset of the individual. In the past, I have sat through many recovery meetings where several of those in attendance were not there of their own free will. This can create a huge distraction because some are the ones who walk in late and interrupt the meetings, some like to talk during the meetings, and some never share the issues they are facing in life. They finish their program and immediately go back to their old ways. There are a few that will come in with the right mindset. Maybe they were scared during the court process, so they are happy they have been given a second chance. They want recovery so they never have to go through that situation again. You have to have the right mindset if you want to get better.

The Importance of Today: Embracing the Present

What brought this up was I had an individual come up to me a couple of weeks ago asking me for help. They knew that I was in a recovery program and that I was no longer drinking. They asked me a lot of questions about how I got sober and how I have stayed sober for a little over 5 years now. My first answer was that I wanted it. My second answer was that I have to live for today. I only have to stay sober for today. Tomorrow isn’t here yet, so I don’t have to worry about tomorrow until tomorrow. I explained that there was no need to worry about how I wasn’t going to drink tomorrow because I wasn’t guaranteed tomorrow I might not wake up tomorrow. Why worry about something that hasn’t happened? I only have to live for now. I may not be here in the next hour or in the next week. I told him that I may not remain sober tomorrow, but I was definitely going to be sober today, and today was all that mattered.

The Work for Desire: Nothing Comes for Free

Did you catch that 1st part? You have to want it! If you want it, you have to work for it. That goes with anything in life. If you want a new vehicle, you have to work to get the money for it. If you want to get a new job, you have to work at applying for a new job. Nothing will just come to you. I often see those who think all you have to do is go to a recovery meeting or get a sponsor, and you will automatically get sober. That isn’t how it works. You have to work for anything you want. Nothing worth having comes free.

Applying the Mindset Beyond Addiction: The Battle with Depression

What if you are not dealing with an addiction? What if we use this mindset for someone dealing with depression? Guess what? It is the same. You have to want to get better. I was very depressed after I lost my father and my best friend. I felt like God had just dropped this bomb on my life because he wanted to prove a point to me. That is what I call a self-seeking attitude. I felt like God had turned his back on me and my family after taking Alyssa, then my father, then my best friend. I was mad. I didn’t want help from God because I felt like he would just take more from my family. During this time, Amy was healing from a bad leg injury that was very slow to heal. There was a lot going on. I felt like God no longer cared about me at all. Again, that is a mindset that says I am so important in this world that God is currently focused on me and what he can take from me. In reality, God was fulfilling his plan. A plan that we can’t understand today but we will understand one day.

Overcoming the Resistance to Happiness: A Struggle with Grief

I didn’t want to feel happy. How could I attempt to be happy after all of this? I felt isolated and alone. I had so many thoughts racing through my head on a daily basis. I would re-live the entire day I lost my father. How he was hooked up to one of the dialysis machines that I am responsible for. How could I feel happiness at all? I didn’t want to. I thought that I couldn’t have any kind of fun because that would be disrespectful to the two I lost. Instead, I stayed very busy. I worked in my mother’s yard, cutting and cleaning up limbs, cleaning out some of my father’s things, keeping up with mowing her yard weekly, etc. There was a lot to do at my house as well.

Seeking Help When the Wanting Arises: Choosing Recovery

I didn’t seek the help I needed because I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to go and tell a stranger about how I was feeling and about how those horrible days played over and over in my head. On January 1st, 2022, I had a nervous breakdown. I can’t begin to explain the whole process. After that happened, I decided that I wanted to get better. I wanted help. There were some thoughts that crossed my mind that scared me. I needed help, and my family told me over and over that I needed help.

The Value of Willingness: Taking the Step to Recovery

I wanted it. I got an appointment with a counselor pretty quickly, and that was one of the best things I have ever done. That helped the daily racing thoughts. Through EMDR therapy, I no longer had to live the same day over and over again. I still think about that day often, but I can turn it off now.

The Drive for Change: The First Step is Wanting It

I had to make that move. Nobody could make that decision for me. I had to get into the right mindset before I could get better. My family could not make me go to counseling. I had to want it for myself. I wanted it bad.

A Life In Progress: The Journey Toward Healing

Four months into counseling, my mother passed away from covid. That was another hard blow. How can God take away my mother one year and six days after taking my father? How could God take my mom away eight months after taking my best friend away? It was hard, but I was already in counseling. My counselor helped me through that process. I still wanted to get better.

The Journey Continues: The Ongoing Pursuit of Recovery

I had to want to get better. I had to want to get sober. Nobody could do it for me. God was always there for me; I was just mad and ignored him. I am trying to rebuild that relationship today, but I have a very long way to go. I have to want that, too. God isn’t just going to fix everything without me putting forth an effort. I have to want that relationship with God. I have to put the work in to obtain that relationship. God isn’t going to pray for me. He isn’t going to worship for me. He isn’t going to open my bible for me; I have to want it. I have to ask myself how badly I want it.

The Power of Determination: Seeking Change

How bad do you want it? Are you feeling depressed? Are you dealing with anxiety? Are you dealing with an illness that you want to recover from? Are you dealing with a bad relationship with someone? You are going to have to work for it. Before you can do that, you have to get your mindset right. You have to want it. There is a lot of help available for many different issues. Only you can deny yourself of that help.

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