JUST BE YOU

This afternoon, my husband sent me an image with the quote, “You Are Not Meant To Live Like The Others, You Are Meant To Live As Yourself.” To help me with my writer’s block, he added, “This would be a good topic for you to write about.” I thought about it for a while and what angle I would use to elaborate on this statement. I began thinking about all the unique traits that make me different from various groups of people in my life, things that used to make me feel inferior but now make me feel powerful.

Let me share a few with you.

Growing up in a household dominated by educators, my familial landscape painted a portrait of teachers and ministers. My father, a minister and retired high school teacher, and my mother, a former substitute teacher and retired librarian assistant. Even my brother, Allen, followed suit, stepping into the teaching realm. To further the education legacy, he married a fellow teacher, and their two children have since ventured into the field. Yet, my career path diverged drastically from this academic trajectory. Determined not to follow the family’s footsteps, I navigated an extra semester and five significant changes in college to obtain my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Marketing eventually. Business—the very field my father openly discouraged his students from pursuing. The irony was not lost on me.

It wasn’t that the prospect of being an educator bored me. I admired their work schedule, the luxury of summers off, and the noble task of molding young minds. But I yearned to be different, a trait ingrained in me from the beginning. In school, I stood out as one of the few red-headed kids, a preacher’s kid, a member of the Church of Christ, the sole diabetic in my school at the time, and typically, the only one unafraid to speak my mind; consequences be damned. Being different was my norm. I weathered teasing for my red hair and freckles, faced scrutiny for my distinct religious beliefs among Baptist classmates, and endured ignorant questions about my Type 1 Diabetes. Comments like, “What did you eat to get Diabetes?” or “Are you gonna lose your toes?” lingered, prompting me to question my choice of friends and marvel at human ignorance. Yet, it all stemmed from the fact that I was different.

However, being different doesn’t imply superiority or inferiority. Imagine a world where everyone looked, acted, believed, and spoke the same—utterly dull.

God designed us not to conform but to reflect His image by embracing our unique selves. We are not meant to be replicas; our individuality is a divine brushstroke on the canvas of creation.

Motherhood and the Battle with Diabulimia:

In my formative years, the phrase “Keeping up with the Joneses” echoed incessantly, so much so that I developed an unfounded dislike for anyone bearing the last name Jones. The idea of conforming to societal norms never appealed to me. I cheered for underdog teams, like the long-suffering Cubs, and championed the causes of those dismissed by others. The desire to emulate the majority never crossed my youthful mind. I embraced my uniqueness—the fiery red hair, an unjust diabetes diagnosis, and all the other traits that set me apart—without complaint.

Then, adulthood arrived, ushering in experiences that should have unfolded in my teenage years. Post the birth of my daughter, and I yearned to shed weight, discard insulin, and mirror the flawless moms gracing magazine covers, seemingly shedding baby weight overnight. I craved the boundless energy exhibited by new moms during park outings. However, diabetes cast a shadow over my early motherhood. It tempted me to lose weight by forgoing insulin, initiating a perilous spiral.

Even the eating disorder I grappled with deviated from the norm. While most cases fall under the broad terms of Anorexia, Bulimia, or Binge Eating, mine was an anomaly—Diabulimia. This unheard-of disorder, involving skipping necessary insulin doses to lose or maintain weight, baffled the medical and psychological personnel in rural Tennessee at the time. I found myself in the paradoxical position of being both the patient and the educator. Explaining and enlightening doctors and counselors about this unique disorder added an additional layer of complexity to seeking help. People failed to comprehend, and doctors regarded me with a mix of confusion and skepticism. I wasn’t just seeking treatment; I was also the trailblazer, educating professionals about a disorder that was as unfamiliar to them as it was damaging to me.

Eating disorders are not the only types of addictive behaviors created by a desire to be like everyone else. Almost every addictive behavior has, at some point, been hyped up to be cool in commercials, movies, magazines, or other forms of media. Drinking, smoking, drugs, and sexual addiction are all types of real-life addictions that society often deems as usual to certain limits.

People see others drinking and the happiness it brings them and feel that it will also make them as happy as the people in commercials. But in real life, we understand that drugs, alcohol, and addictive behaviors only bring more problems, solving nothing.

I share my journey not to gain sympathy but to impart a crucial lesson. If you catch yourself measuring your life against others—whether it’s your appearance, financial status, or any facet of your existence—please, just stop. Life isn’t a competition. Striving to emulate someone else is a disservice to the Creator, who designed us individually, just as we are. Whether you’re the lone business major among teachers or the only family member with a tattoo, embrace it. If you choose to turn your limitations into strengths, empowering others along the way, go for it. Life is too fleeting to squander trying to meet others’ expectations.

In 2024, I encourage you to find the confidence, courage, and faith to be unapologetically yourself.

Most importantly, if fear of judgment hinders you from seeking recovery, take that first step. We bared our souls in this blog not for sympathy but to break down barriers. It has been a cathartic journey for us, propelling us forward, and we hope it resonates with others facing their struggles. If you need encouragement, know that we are on your side. Reach out; we are here for you!