I’ve been contemplating this mental health blog for a few days now. I understand the title might seem unusual, but I hope it has piqued your interest. How does a coffee cup relate to a blog about mental health and addictions?
To begin, let me pose a question: How do you portray yourself? How do you present yourself to others? Are you respectful in your interactions with those around you? How do you project yourself in your professional life? Do you consistently fulfill your work commitments? Your behavior toward others often mirrors the treatment you receive from them. Keep in mind that actions speak louder than words. For instance, approaching someone with respect is likely to elicit a respectful response in return. Conversely, if you approach someone with arrogance or anger, you can expect a similar response.
Life’s Challenges Behind Closed Doors:
I continue to grapple with stress and grief each day. Nevertheless, I retain the ability to choose how I respond to others and maintain control over the tone of my voice during interactions. Those outside my immediate circle are often unaware of the personal challenges I’m facing.
For instance, during a recent meeting with my financial advisor, she questioned why I hadn’t returned her calls in the past year and the year before that. Her tone was far from professional, and it was clear she harbored a certain level of frustration. I promptly replied, “In 2021, when you reached out, I was seated in an ICU room with my father, who was critically ill and subsequently passed away. Meeting with you was simply not a priority at that time.” I followed up with, “In 2022, I found myself in the same situation, this time with my mother in the ICU. Once again, returning your call wasn’t foremost on my mind.”
There was a moment of silence as she absorbed this information before continuing our conversation. Unfortunately, by that point, the tone of our meeting had already soured. I swiftly lost respect for her due to her initial approach. Consequently, I have no intention of allowing this individual into my home or seeking her financial advice beyond the scope of my job. Her initial lack of respect and somewhat demeaning attitude, seemingly aimed at elevating her own importance, left a lasting negative impression. Despite her later change in tone, my decision was already made – this is not someone I want to be involved in my financial affairs in the future.
Thinking Outside the Interview Box:
How did I arrive at the title “Coffee Cup”? It all began when I stumbled upon a captivating article about a hiring manager’s unique approach to interviewing job candidates. This manager shared his practice of taking candidates on a guided tour of the workplace during the interview process. As the tour progressed, candidates would inevitably find themselves in the office kitchen, where they might decide to grab a cup of coffee or another beverage.
What happened next was the key to the manager’s evaluation. After the tour, as they sat in the manager’s office with their drinks, the manager keenly observed the candidates’ behavior. Did they simply leave their cups in the office, adding to the clutter, or did they take the initiative to inquire about the proper place to return their cups for washing? The significance of this seemingly minor action was profound. Those who failed to at least ask where to deposit their cups automatically failed the interview, regardless of their qualifications, experience, or education. The manager believed that such candidates wouldn’t align with the company’s culture, which emphasized teamwork, equality, and mutual respect. Leaving a dirty dish or trash for others to clean up was simply not in line with their values.
This story reminded me of another anecdote I had heard years ago, where a different hiring manager conducted interviews over lunch. This manager had a similar but distinct criterion for evaluating candidates. They closely observed whether the candidate seasoned their food before tasting it, even something as simple as adding salt and pepper to their fries before taking a bite. If the candidate did indeed season their food before tasting, they would not be hired.
Upon reflection, this criterion made perfect sense to me. It suggested that the candidate might be predisposed to making judgments about others before getting to know them. In both cases, these unconventional interview techniques revealed valuable insights into the candidates’ character and compatibility with the respective company’s values and culture.
Reflections on ‘Coffee Cup’ Moments:
Wow. Moments like this really make me reflect. Do I season my food before giving it a try? What’s my approach to my coffee cup? Am I the one who’d offer to return it to the kitchen, or do I assume someone else will handle it? How does all of this tie into discussions about mental health? The way others treat me has a significant impact on my mental well-being. If I sense someone’s upset with me, it triggers anxiety. Managing anxiety is already a challenge for me. What I’m describing here falls under emotional intelligence, emotional awareness, and empathetic communication.
When Blame Game Meets Understanding:
We must reflect on our responses to others. It’s essential to examine our own communication and ask whether we’re engaging in a manner we’d appreciate in return. How are we portraying ourselves? Are we quick to pass negative judgments on someone before understanding their situation? Speaking angrily to someone without knowing their challenges can unintentionally harm their mental well-being.
This morning, I had a conversation at work with a coworker who was swift to place blame on me and my department for an issue we had no control over. There was a job with a time-sensitive deadline that wasn’t completed due to the coworker’s failure to follow up and check the schedule. Even after explaining that the job wasn’t completed on time because of their oversight, they persisted in shifting the blame. Such situations can negatively impact my mental health and make me doubt my job performance. However, I’ve chosen not to escalate the situation because I don’t know what my coworker is going through. I’m taking the high road and attributing it to a simple miscommunication or mistake. I don’t want to cause any harm to her or her department.
The Art of Mindful Living:
I constantly remind myself that everything I encounter every day is temporary – my job, my fears, my material possessions, my health, my anxiety, my depression, my addiction, and so on. It’s all transient. I also keep in mind that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Although I haven’t found all the answers yet, I remember the wisdom my best friend Terry shared when I discussed my struggles with him: “Life is just a series of adjustments. It’s up to you what adjustments you want to make. Life is too short. You have to find a way to be happy.”
I’ve had these words tattooed on my left arm. It serves as a daily reminder that I have the power to choose my own adjustments. I can choose to be angry or happy, sad or grateful. I can opt to savor the day, decide whether or not to drink alcohol, seek help, visit a counselor, maintain sobriety, hold onto my Christian beliefs, and select my friends. It’s all within my control. I just need to be mindful of the consequences of the choices I make.
The “Coffee Cup” Revelation: Lessons in Character:
So, you’re probably wondering how “Coffee Cup” came into the picture. Well, it started with me stumbling upon this article that hit home. It was about a hiring big shot, yakking about his interview tactics. Here’s the gig: he’d lead candidates on a tour, ending up in his lair with, you guessed it, coffee cups. The test? What would they do with that cup? Trash it in the office? Or lend a hand and return it to the kitchen? Those who thought the cup was a disposable accessory? Automatic interview fails. Experience and education? Irrelevant. If they didn’t ask where to stash the cup, they were toast. ‘Cause that company? They ran as a tight-knit squad. No lone rangers. Nobody left their mess behind for others to tidy up.