The term “recovery” encompasses a wide spectrum, often associated with individuals turning away from addiction or healing from various health conditions such as injuries or surgeries. It’s crucial to recognize that addiction isn’t a conscious choice, even though the initial decision to use a substance might have been. Have you ever wondered why some people can consume alcohol daily for years and then quit without difficulty while others find it impossible to stop without assistance? The latter group might possess a genetic predisposition that the former doesn’t share. This condition is sometimes likened to an allergy to the substance.
Despite being an alcoholic, I don’t struggle with addiction when it comes to drugs. I can take prescription opioid painkillers, Xanax, muscle relaxers, and more without encountering any problems. These substances don’t have a hold on me, and I can cease their use effortlessly. Yet, it’s essential to recognize that others might have a completely different experience, wrestling with these medications while maintaining control over alcohol consumption.
Unmasking the Complexity of Addiction:
It can indeed be a challenge to convey the complexities of addiction to those who haven’t experienced it firsthand. Hearing someone say, “I used to be an alcoholic or drug addict,” can be frustrating because, for individuals like us, addiction is an ongoing battle. We’ll always carry the label of an alcoholic or addict because our minds don’t function like those who can enjoy a drink in moderation. The desire for more, even when it’s harming us, is a stark reminder of our condition. It’s not a choice we make willingly.
People like us who grapple with addiction are dealing with an illness, one that we never asked for nor wanted. Nobody in their right mind would choose to be sick in this way. That’s why the term “Recovery” is so apt. It signifies our journey of overcoming addiction and the poor choices we made. We’ve come to understand that our addiction affects not only our physical health but also our jobs, social lives, and mental well-being. Importantly, it extends its reach into our families’ lives in similar ways.
I can only share my personal experience, having never walked in anyone else’s shoes. During my days of drinking, I lived a double life, keeping my addiction hidden. In the eyes of the world, I was a Christian, a father, a husband, a friend, and a respected figure in my workplace. I served as a Sunday school teacher and a Deacon. Addiction doesn’t discriminate, and it can silently infiltrate even the most seemingly put-together lives.
As humans, we often judge others, even unintentionally. One reason I hesitated to ask for help is because I’ve heard how members of my family have spoken about individuals struggling with addiction. “You know he was a real bad alcoholic,” is often the first thing some of my family members mention when discussing someone they know with an addiction. I didn’t want people, especially my family, to perceive me in that way. I didn’t want others to describe me in those terms when talking about me to someone else.
I even attempted to quit drinking on my own once. I successfully abstained for 16 months until my mind played a deceptive trick on me. “You’re not an alcoholic. You quit without any form of recovery program. You didn’t have to undergo detox, and you’ve never received a DUI,” my inner thoughts would insist. One day, someone handed me a small jar of homemade moonshine. While listening to my internal rationalizations, I took a sip of that moonshine. That sip quickly escalated to consuming the entire jar. Subsequently, I decided to start making my own hard cider and applejack.
The Impact of Stigma on Those Battling Addiction:
I’m sharing this story with everyone because I hope it will encourage reflection on how we speak about others. We never truly know who might be struggling with some form of addiction and overhear us talking disparagingly about someone with a known problem. This kind of negative discourse could deter someone from seeking help.
I had nearly achieved three years of sobriety when my father passed away, and I was nearly four years sober when my mother passed. As far as I know, neither of them ever realized that I was battling alcoholism. I didn’t want them to think less of me despite being actively involved in a recovery program.
Consider this: Would you want your children to refrain from seeking help because of how they’ve heard you speak about others? I believe none of us would want that outcome. That’s why I’m bringing this issue to your attention.
The Authenticity of Recovery:
Today, some of the most honest individuals I know are former addicts. I’ve come to learn things about them that might frighten many, yet I place my trust in them more than some who have never experienced addiction. When an addict is actively engaged in their recovery, they keep a gratitude list, strive to make amends for their past wrongs, and endeavor to settle their debts through honest, hard work. They are making a conscious effort to lead a different life because they recognize that their past way of living didn’t yield positive results. We aim to do things right the first time around because it means one less apology we have to make.
Frequently, I find greater spiritual satisfaction from attending a recovery group than from going to church. Most individuals in a recovery program are on a quest to connect with a higher power, while many at church may merely be going through the motions. I deeply appreciate being in the company of someone who displays a genuine passion for God, someone who exudes happiness when talking about their faith. These are the individuals who capture my attention – those who sing with excitement and smile when discussing Jesus and the profound impact He has had on our lives.
A Call to Seek Help and Mindful Words of Support:
I have two primary reasons for writing this mental health blog, where I discuss a portion of my addiction recovery journey:
#1 If you are someone battling any form of addiction, I urge you to seek help. Don’t let fear of others’ opinions hold you back. Those who care about you would much rather see you recover than continue in your struggles. Always remember that you are not alone, and I can guarantee that if you walk into a meeting of fellow addicts seeking help, you will find a room full of understanding individuals who can support you through these challenging times. It’s a judgment-free zone. I’ll be publishing another blog that focuses on the Joy of Recovery, so make sure to check it out.
#2 If you are aware of someone currently living with an addiction or someone who has triumphed over their struggles, please be mindful of how you speak about them. Avoid defining a person solely by their past or present challenges. Your words can have a significant impact and might discourage someone from seeking help when they need it most. Remember that you never know who is looking up to you and listening to your words.